Sunday, May 22, 2011

Offer of Help to Unwed Mothers

More Baby Hatches!

Even the hospitals are thinking of setting up their very own hatches!

There seems to be a new phenomenon the past few years. Young people, even students have found themselves in deep trouble suddenly. Not that they do not know about such things, but many of them think it will only happen to other people!

Unwanted New Born Babes - Unloved and Unwanted!

I'm talking about the alarming rising number of pregnancies and abandonment of innocent new born babes. Abandoned by their very own parents!Trying not to be judgemental right now but I just wonder what happened to all these young people?

Temporary Solution

Setting up of baby hatches may seem to be one of the solutions but its only a temporary one. Babies will still be born out of wedlock, unwanted by the males and the poor witless girls left to struggle on their own, until the child is born.

Why are babies being abandoned?

Fingers should not be pointing at the poor girls, They have suffered a great deal, living in trauma and fear, shame even. Everyone make mistakes, admit it. Some mistakes are minor but others are life changing - it can be for the better or for the worse. It could even lead to murder and infanticide.

What Values ?

Mothers! If your little girl suddenly told you one day that she is up to her neck in trouble (aka being pregnant), what would be your reaction? Maybe your heart will miss a beat, maybe your blood pressure may suddenly shoot up. Or maybe you may just scream in agony - a mother's nightmare come true.

What would you do?

Wait a minute! That's your precious little darling. You had protected her all her life. Are you going to disown her? Kick her out of her sanctuary? Her home? Or are you going to help her through this very difficult time of her life? What would Islam expect of us?

Everything is a Test

Even if we were to abandon our motherly instincts, remember our responsibility as a Muslim! Is face saving so important that you would turn your beloved child away now that she has fallen from grace? Is it your face that you are so concerned about or are you so pure and good that you cannot accept her mistake?

Parents have Responsibilites too

Ever wondered why our children did what they did? Of course some kids still make all kinds of stupid and even really serious mistakes even though we tried our best to guide them. They are only human. So are we judge and jury and sentence our children to a life unknown, leaving them to sort out their own problem.

What do you think some would do?

Hide the problem. Pretend it doesn't exist - it may just go away. Shaitan too will be very busy especially when ties of kinship are torn apart. That's when the evil one will work very hard to whisper all sorts of fears and ideas into the minds of desperate and frightened young people.

Where to Ask for Help?

If the boyfriend runs away out of fear and the girl is all alone, what do you think she may do?
Ask her friends for advice, confess to her parents, counsellors? To admit her situation takes a lot of courage. She probably wants to do the right thing. She may even want to take responsibility for the unborn child.

Last Resort

So if her plea for help is rejected, what would she do? Where would she go? If she truly wants to save her unborn child, where can she go for help? A baby hatch or a place that accepts her without judgement may be her only choice as she may be lost and confused.

Help Innocent Babies

If her spiritual level is low or maybe non existent, she may even resort to inducing a miscarriage or even throwing her newborn away. Some abandoned babies were saved but others met horrible deaths.

Accomplice to Evil

Muslim parents especially do not realise that their rejection of their own child makes them an accomplice to the murder of their own grandchild. Their lack of support may cause their own little girl to become a murderer. Desperate people do desperate things.

Baby hatches are becoming a necessity

A hospital had been helping unwed mothers deliver their babies. They do try to find suitably qualified parents (physically, materially and spiritually) but its not that easy to help the child quickly. Hatches may save lives but there is a great need to educate people.

May Allah SWT Bless dedicated volunteers

May Allah SWT reward all dedicated individuals who are concerned and are helping to save babies. It is tough work and requires a lot of time, money and energy. It can however be immensely rewarding as well. Lives of both mother and child may be saved. Physically and spiritually. Alhamdulillah!

Pros and Cons

Announcing to everyone baby hatches are available may give young people the wrong impression. They may think its alright to carry on with whatever activities they like. After all there are people and organisations that are willing to care for their babies. No sweat!

Education and Awareness Needed

Education may help them understand the dangers of casual sexual behaviour. They need to understand the consequences of their misbehaviour. They need help and guidance to be strong and to return to the path of submission to Allah SWT. Only God loving and God fearing people will reflect on their actions.

Everything starts with Education, or the lack of it

Make education a priority. There is greater awareness of the importance of sex education but it should be carefully studied, planned and implemented in accordance to the way that would increase the iman (faith) and understanding.

We should not be just giving the band aid when someone falls and hurts. The harm would have occurred already. Isn't it better to provide a safer walkway and a safer journey towards adulthood for our young generation?

Love them. guide them, teach them but do not abandon them to the ways of Shaitan.That is the amanah of every parent.

Every child has the right to grow up in a loving and nurturing environment. However not all children will suffer in an orphanage. Not all children will be happy even in the homes of their own natural families. The chances for a more secure and normal life may be slightly better in a family environment.

Even kids with parents can have a tough time

I know of many people with young children. They keep begging for money every month to pay school fees, to buy uniforms, shoes, clothes, food, to pay the rent, electricity and water bills.

Some children are weak in their studies and parents ask for assistance to send their children for tuition. Some ask for bus fares and one just asked for spectacles for both her children.

These same kids may even be exposed to drug addicts, pushers and some are forced to beg by parents.

Benefits of living in an Orphanage

Many children in orphanages live a disciplined life, they have a routine and there is time for work, study and play. They live in a clean and healthy environment and have proper education.

Some do not even want to go home during their school holidays as they are happy in the orphanages. The young are protected from the claws of unhealthy elements as they are not latch door kids and do not play with the other children on the streets while the parents are still at work.

Which Children are actually better off?

I wouldn't know for sure so lets not be too judgemental about it. People should not just dismiss all the love, sacrifice and hardwork of people who care for the needy and orphans. Everyone will do the way they know best. No need to say orphanages are less good.

It all depends on the intention, sincerity and efficiency of the people concerned. Of course we wish there is no need for baby hatches or orphanages for that matter. Be realistic and be patient. Allah SWT knows best.


  1. Salam sis.

    I seriously cannot comprehend how people can afford to have kids, only to shed their responsibilities away when something didn't turn out the way they felt it was supposed to be.

    Then again, I'm not a parent so perhaps my views do not count (for some people).

  2. Most of these irresponsible parents are students and young people who do not know their own responsibilities and lack spiritual knowledge. Grown ups are even worse - after making a spiritual commitment they forget all their promises to their families and to Allah. Islam offers a way out for them but they must fulfil their responsibilities. Sadly lacking in our society. And lack of enforcement to fulfil them makes a mockery of the syariah.