Thursday, May 5, 2011

Missing My Parents

Will you miss your parents
when they are gone?

What? You miss your parents? You are not a child anymore - why are you such a baby?

These words may seem common - they may be spoken in earnest, questioning the independance of an individual. Maybe it's a gentle hint for us to grow up and not be so sentimental.

Or are people getting so used to being alone and withdrawn that they have forgotten the warmth and comfort of family life? Was home so unhappy and dull that they want to forget their families?

Which is which?

Do we all still have childhood memories? Happy ones? Sad ones? Only you will know.

Forgive and Let Go of the Past

I guess most of us have a mixture of both, and maybe a bitter sweet relationship with our parents. That's life. We make mistakes all the time, even parents and we will do too as parents ourselves. Live and let live - its alright to still remember old wounds but its better to learn from them. Forgive, maybe we still cannot forget though we sometimes rather prefer to block out every hurt and disappointment of the past.

Jazakallahu Khairan Kathiran

I thank all my friends and even people I do not know well. They showed love, support and concern for me and my family during my difficult times. I received nothing but kind words and even monetary support to pay for the expenses of hospitalization etc. They did not have to do that but they all came even at last minute notice.

Those I could not inform on time apologised for not being there for me. I did not expect anyone to go out of their way for me. I am thankful for the duaas they make for my parents.

Solat Jenazah according to the Sunnah

Many people turned up for solat jenazah of both my parents. It really touched me deeply and words cannot express my appreciation and I thank Allah SWT for giving me help and support in my moments of need. Alhamdulillah!

Losing both parents within a year

I lost my mother during Chinese New Year in 2010. Its was a bitter experience for all of us. Last month I lost my 86 year old father. I was preparing my self for this moment but it still hit me badly, making me remember I cannot be strong and tough all the time.

They were good parents and did what they could, according to their own understanding of their roles and limitations. I appreciate their sacrifices and love which were unconditional. How many people can treat you that way? At least they will not be able to say they would be willing to support and love us for life! Not husbands, wives or lovers!

Work and Obligations

I have to leave my PC to do some work outside my home. Actually I'd rather be sitting in front of my keyboard, spilling out my thoughts, spontaneously as it does lighten the burden of carrying so much grief within.

I was quite busy with work and immersed myself so I would have a quicker recovery time. Just could not write when my thoughts are so scattered, a million things to attend to.

Taking a break

Took a short trip to Singapore with my son just to take a break. I needed a different environment and different people around me to bring me back. Singapore is great where transport is concerned.

Lots of Halal Food

Discovered great halal food in Muslim areas and even in food courts. I enjoyed the fish noodle soup and soto. Good service and the prices are reasonable too. Thanks to my friend Latifah who was an energetic companion. We stayed at Marine Parade and my 'sister' Sally and her husband Kim took us for a lovely dinner at Arab Street. We also went for night sight seeing like real tourists! Actually all the worldly sights do not mean much for a passing traveller of this earthly planet. Just passing through... trying to find the right path.

Aunt Leslie

My last trip to Singapore was over 20 years ago! Miss my aunties and cousins though. I planned to visit my Aunt Leslie but have misplaced her phone no. I feel so bad - been procrastinating to inform her that both my parents have passed awayl

She would be heart broken but worse still - will I be too late! She is a cancer survivor, a beautiful lady, well in her late 60s by now. A great cook and mother, who raised her 3 children on her own and sent them through university when my dear uncle passed away suddenly. I only have great memories of my uncle Bobby and aunt Leslie.

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