Sunday, May 29, 2011

When we lose someone we love

Why do people leave?

Good question. sometimes there is no answer. People leave when they change; when they cannot manage a relationship or when they themselves behaved so badly that they cannot repair the damage.

They do not know how to mend a broken heart, out of desperation they give up and run away. They leave behind people who love them. Sometimes there is no other way, for staying on would cause more sorrow later on.

Happiness and hardship are tests for us

Others may love, betray and turn away because their hearts are weak and filled with shaitan's whisperings. Many such experiences are simply tests for us. How do we react to such situations?

What do we do when someone leaves?

Do we face it with patience and determination to go into damage control? Do we try to pick up the pieces and try to mend the broken heart together? Or do some people just love us, break our hearts and leave us to carry on alone, leaving responsibilities and a trail of broken promises?

Have we ever hurt someone before?

Sometimes we were the ones who had broken someone's heart. If we try to remember our past, perhaps sometime in our life we had done the same thing , to someone we have long forgotten. Someone who deserved better treatment and respect from us.

Maybe we were too young to understand the impact of our careless action or we did not know what to do so we just block it out of our minds.

Different people react differently

There was once a girl who liked someone of a different race and religion during our schooldays. Her parents were very unhappy with this friendship. She told me he was a very nice person and he treated her very well.

One day she told me she had broken off with him. How did she do it? Being only 17, she had no idea about handling the matter with maturity. She was scared her heart would soften.

She told me she purposely treated him badly and threw his present into the garbage bin in his presence, just to make him angry with her. She did all sorts of terrible things to turn him away from her.

In actual fact she still liked him and she did it because of pressure from her parents. The poor guy must have hurt a lot and perhaps his self esteem destroyed at that moment.

Its ironic because some years later she went abroad to further studies, met someone just like him and decided to marry this person. I think the parents were not too pleased by that but she decided to follow her heart. Her parents soon warmed up with the arrival of grandchildren. Life is like that.

Accept what is fated and get on with life

Sometimes we are not fated to be with someone for too long. Its better to appreciate the good times and be thankful to Allah for the happy memories. Isn't that better than to keep thinking of the grief and 'loss'? Everything will just be focused on negative energy and that would really drain us thoroughly. Surely we have better things to do that to live in the past. Wake Up!

The clock will keep ticking

People come and people go for various reasons. Sometimes its very hard to accept that though we try to understand. Many times it may not have anything to do with us personally but the other party had changed and we cannot turn back the clock.

Put our trust in Allah

The pure for the pure and the impure for the impure. Allah SWT wants to protect us and help us to stay on the straight path. Some things we feel is bad for is actually the best. We cannot see it at the very moment and this is when we have to learn to put our trust in Allah. Very often we still cling on to things and to people who are no longer good for us. Allah knows best.

Sometimes toxic relationships need a good shake up. If it still doesn't work, it may be time to move on. Nobody belongs to us and we belong to no one. Only Allah SWT has that right over us.

Know our priorities

What matters most is we remain faithful to Allah and He is always close to those who make effort to be close to Him. He always gives us a fair deal but we sometimes prefer to grief over what does not belong to us and had never belonged to us.

We grieve even though some people revealed their actual true and evil colours. Why do we even want them back if they cannot even behave as a true Muslim? We can be forgiving but we must know when to reject such disrespect. Surely we deserve better than that. Learn to love and respect ourselves.

Yet we do not grief when we or our children do not follow the sunnah or fulfil our solat, fasting and zakat. On the last day we will shall be alone and to Him we will return. Nothing else would matter.

Keep the right perspective

Lets keep the right perspective and strive to be steadfast in the face of adversity. These days I remind myself that we own nothing in reality and we will take nothing with us when we leave this worldly life.

Remember the purpose of our life -to worship and serve Allah,
not dwell on things we that we never actually had

We pray for the good of this world and good of the hereafter. Yet we must try to live this life as a traveller and keep our focus on our final destination. That way we can strive to serve Allah SWT well to make ourselves worthy of all the beautiful rewards of paradise.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Some ideas on how to dawah our not yet Muslim family

No Hard and Fast Rules

Every family is different. There is no particular way to dawah our family members. It took me a long time as I did not know where to start. Then I began attending classes and after listening to the uztaz repeat and repeat so many verses and hadiths over and over again I got a bit familiar and confident with sharing.

Share Correct Information

Actually we do not need to know a lot but we need to be sure what we learn is the correct information. In other words, lets make sure there is dalil or evidence. That way we will have confidence that whatever we share is correct and not misleading.

It will also create a negative impression when we have to admit that we misinformed them. Some people may think we deliberately lied to them.

Find the right moment to share

Once we are sure of certain information, we need to find the right moment to share that information. Its not so appropriate to suddenly, in the middle of a family dinner, to talk excitedly about some hadith that relates to punishment or war.

Give Positive Information

Its better to talk about something that is related to the occasion or conversation . Offer pleasant information, not news that upset people.

Take your time to share.

Just because we learnt something it doesn't mean we need to share it with our family. Too much information will irritate them or turn them off. They will think we are fanatic because they do not understand that we are trying to help them.

Be the Best Muslim within your ability

Share bit by bit. The most important form of dawah is to be the best Muslim and best person in the family.

Insha' Allah they will notice the change in us and soon they will come to depend on us and not on our brothers and sisters. Its good to help our family and it creates bonding.

Do not be Stingy or Selfish
Rezeki is from Allah SWT

Any money you spend on them is charity and also in the way of Allah. I used to tell my mother that my money was her money as she was my mother. I may not have much to give but it gives her a sense of appreciation and comfort.

Let our family know Muslims are commanded by Allah maintain ties of kinship

When I do something special for them, I tell them the truth- that normally I may not even consider doing it but only because Allah want us to treat our family well. Let them be grateful to Allah for our efforts.

Let them know parents are honoured in Islam

They may not acknowledge it but it will sink in gradually.Do not sound arrogant or rude, let them be happy with your efforts. Parents do not need us to patronise them.

Like Christians, Muslims must learn to share the good news to others. Do not frighten people off. Islam is beautiful and punishment is always only a deterrent for the protection of the community.

When we do something good, tell them we are following the sunnah (tradition) of our Prophet saw

Tell people about our beloved Prophet saw. Tell them about his kindness, his patience and compassion. Learn some hadiths that talk about his kindness and humility.

Purpose of Life

Talk about the wonderful delights of Paradise. Share with them all the rewards of Jannah. Explain little by little the purpose of life - to be grateful and to serve and worship the Creator as the one and only diety worthy of worship.

Explain that Prophet Muhammad was only human and the final messenger of Allah. Tell them the names of all the other messengers.

Conduct friendly discussions, not arguments

When people feel positive then they may be open to more information. They too have some questions to ask. Better to let the questions come from them.

Talk about the similarities and the chain of prophets. They may probably criticise Islam about the controversial topics like polygamy and child brides.

Learn your facts before you answer. Do not argue to win. You will lose your objective and turn them away. Always keep your cool and good manners.

Good manners is good dawah

Be moderate and take your time. Patience and good manners is good dawah. Be generous with your wealth as it is from Allah. He will give us more when we spend on the welfare of others.

Be inclusive, let your family meet your friends

One important turning point for me is when I brought my mother to join me and other sisters. The warmth and love they showered on all the mothers made my mother feel love for them too. She felt included and not just watching us as an outsider.

Do not inconvenience your family. Make it easy for them

Bring your friends to your home and pot luck is good. Ask your friends to eat with your family and do not trouble your mother to prepare any special food. Do not give your family stress but let them feel the generosity of fellow Muslims. That will open doors insha'Allah.

Bring them along for gatherings

Invite them to our silatul rahim gatherings. Bring them when we meet for lunch or dinner. include them when we have iftar. We had done that with our parents and even if they did not accept Islam, they become more tolerant.

Initially some will refuse because they are uncomfortable. We assure them that other parents are also joining us (make sure they are). Tell them they can also make friends with the parents who are not Muslims. They can dress in any way they wish. Let them feel at ease and welcome.

Practise some our our traditional customs

Invite our parents for tea drinking, Chinese lunches or Indian lunches etc. Assure them Muslims have not rejected their culture. Bring them to meet our Chinese Muslim friends from China.Tell them their children have not suddenly turned into Malays. Ha Ha its a big joke to us but not to them. Yes, please use some tact, do not chat in Bahasa Malaysia amongst the Chinese converts. It only reinforces the misconception. We are partly to blame.

Be proud of your own culture.

And remember to wear our own tranditional clothes when we are with them or when we visit. Its more effective than wearing baju Melayu, songkok, sampin and all. "My son has become a Malay! Arrrrgh!!!! No offence meant to our Malay brothers and sisters. We just want to make sure people get the facts right.

Hostile parents need different approach

In the case of hostile parents, we need the help of elderly brothers or sisters who can speak their dialect and find the right moment to get them together. They may not want to meet our friends nor do they want to listen to us. In that case we let things quiet down a bit.

Carry on being good and cheerful. Call them often and buy gifts for them. Just keep on showing your love and attention.

Parents still love us even if they are so angry

Parents still love us but can chose to hurt us badly, by rejecting us or scolding us or even hitting us. They are angry and they hurt so much that they do not know what else to do. Forgive them and keep on making duaa for them. May Allah soften their hearts.

Be humble and admit it if you are not sure of the answer

If you do not know the answer, admit it and say you prefer to verify the facts. Its ok not to know everything. Always speak the truth.

If we can just follow one or two of the above that would already be a very good start. Remember do not bore them or act as if we are better than them. Do not hurt the feelings of people unnecessarily.Very often it is our actions that influence their impressions of Islam.

May Allah SWT guide us and help us in our effort to help our friends and family members.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Offer of Help to Unwed Mothers

More Baby Hatches!

Even the hospitals are thinking of setting up their very own hatches!

There seems to be a new phenomenon the past few years. Young people, even students have found themselves in deep trouble suddenly. Not that they do not know about such things, but many of them think it will only happen to other people!

Unwanted New Born Babes - Unloved and Unwanted!

I'm talking about the alarming rising number of pregnancies and abandonment of innocent new born babes. Abandoned by their very own parents!Trying not to be judgemental right now but I just wonder what happened to all these young people?

Temporary Solution

Setting up of baby hatches may seem to be one of the solutions but its only a temporary one. Babies will still be born out of wedlock, unwanted by the males and the poor witless girls left to struggle on their own, until the child is born.

Why are babies being abandoned?

Fingers should not be pointing at the poor girls, They have suffered a great deal, living in trauma and fear, shame even. Everyone make mistakes, admit it. Some mistakes are minor but others are life changing - it can be for the better or for the worse. It could even lead to murder and infanticide.

What Values ?

Mothers! If your little girl suddenly told you one day that she is up to her neck in trouble (aka being pregnant), what would be your reaction? Maybe your heart will miss a beat, maybe your blood pressure may suddenly shoot up. Or maybe you may just scream in agony - a mother's nightmare come true.

What would you do?

Wait a minute! That's your precious little darling. You had protected her all her life. Are you going to disown her? Kick her out of her sanctuary? Her home? Or are you going to help her through this very difficult time of her life? What would Islam expect of us?

Everything is a Test

Even if we were to abandon our motherly instincts, remember our responsibility as a Muslim! Is face saving so important that you would turn your beloved child away now that she has fallen from grace? Is it your face that you are so concerned about or are you so pure and good that you cannot accept her mistake?

Parents have Responsibilites too

Ever wondered why our children did what they did? Of course some kids still make all kinds of stupid and even really serious mistakes even though we tried our best to guide them. They are only human. So are we judge and jury and sentence our children to a life unknown, leaving them to sort out their own problem.

What do you think some would do?

Hide the problem. Pretend it doesn't exist - it may just go away. Shaitan too will be very busy especially when ties of kinship are torn apart. That's when the evil one will work very hard to whisper all sorts of fears and ideas into the minds of desperate and frightened young people.

Where to Ask for Help?

If the boyfriend runs away out of fear and the girl is all alone, what do you think she may do?
Ask her friends for advice, confess to her parents, counsellors? To admit her situation takes a lot of courage. She probably wants to do the right thing. She may even want to take responsibility for the unborn child.

Last Resort

So if her plea for help is rejected, what would she do? Where would she go? If she truly wants to save her unborn child, where can she go for help? A baby hatch or a place that accepts her without judgement may be her only choice as she may be lost and confused.

Help Innocent Babies

If her spiritual level is low or maybe non existent, she may even resort to inducing a miscarriage or even throwing her newborn away. Some abandoned babies were saved but others met horrible deaths.

Accomplice to Evil

Muslim parents especially do not realise that their rejection of their own child makes them an accomplice to the murder of their own grandchild. Their lack of support may cause their own little girl to become a murderer. Desperate people do desperate things.

Baby hatches are becoming a necessity

A hospital had been helping unwed mothers deliver their babies. They do try to find suitably qualified parents (physically, materially and spiritually) but its not that easy to help the child quickly. Hatches may save lives but there is a great need to educate people.

May Allah SWT Bless dedicated volunteers

May Allah SWT reward all dedicated individuals who are concerned and are helping to save babies. It is tough work and requires a lot of time, money and energy. It can however be immensely rewarding as well. Lives of both mother and child may be saved. Physically and spiritually. Alhamdulillah!

Pros and Cons

Announcing to everyone baby hatches are available may give young people the wrong impression. They may think its alright to carry on with whatever activities they like. After all there are people and organisations that are willing to care for their babies. No sweat!

Education and Awareness Needed

Education may help them understand the dangers of casual sexual behaviour. They need to understand the consequences of their misbehaviour. They need help and guidance to be strong and to return to the path of submission to Allah SWT. Only God loving and God fearing people will reflect on their actions.

Everything starts with Education, or the lack of it

Make education a priority. There is greater awareness of the importance of sex education but it should be carefully studied, planned and implemented in accordance to the way that would increase the iman (faith) and understanding.

We should not be just giving the band aid when someone falls and hurts. The harm would have occurred already. Isn't it better to provide a safer walkway and a safer journey towards adulthood for our young generation?

Love them. guide them, teach them but do not abandon them to the ways of Shaitan.That is the amanah of every parent.

Every child has the right to grow up in a loving and nurturing environment. However not all children will suffer in an orphanage. Not all children will be happy even in the homes of their own natural families. The chances for a more secure and normal life may be slightly better in a family environment.

Even kids with parents can have a tough time

I know of many people with young children. They keep begging for money every month to pay school fees, to buy uniforms, shoes, clothes, food, to pay the rent, electricity and water bills.

Some children are weak in their studies and parents ask for assistance to send their children for tuition. Some ask for bus fares and one just asked for spectacles for both her children.

These same kids may even be exposed to drug addicts, pushers and some are forced to beg by parents.

Benefits of living in an Orphanage

Many children in orphanages live a disciplined life, they have a routine and there is time for work, study and play. They live in a clean and healthy environment and have proper education.

Some do not even want to go home during their school holidays as they are happy in the orphanages. The young are protected from the claws of unhealthy elements as they are not latch door kids and do not play with the other children on the streets while the parents are still at work.

Which Children are actually better off?

I wouldn't know for sure so lets not be too judgemental about it. People should not just dismiss all the love, sacrifice and hardwork of people who care for the needy and orphans. Everyone will do the way they know best. No need to say orphanages are less good.

It all depends on the intention, sincerity and efficiency of the people concerned. Of course we wish there is no need for baby hatches or orphanages for that matter. Be realistic and be patient. Allah SWT knows best.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Steam Boat for Lunch

"Want to go for Steamboat?"

That was a very inviting question indeed.
"Sure, lets have lunch".

Despite the jam on a public holiday we made it to 1 Utama, Johnny's Steamboat. Its a simple basic steamboat set but it can be enhanced by additional orders of seafood or veggies. The dipping sauce is piquant and deliciousl

I love steamboat! Lots of vegetables and rich stock. Homemade is best as we can save a lot by buying our own seafood like large prawns, crab and fish. We can also add our own favourite food into the soup stock.

A healthy alternative to stuffing in fried chicken wings and char koey teow. I love that too but am trying to resist all the fatty stuff.

Heavy Lunch, Light Dinner

Then to Pappa Rich for a light dinner snack. The butter and kaya toast was quite filling and I yielded to the temptation of ice kacang, lots of finely shaved iced with delicious bits of sweet corn, red beans, cendol, cincau, peanut and raisin. Did I detect nutmeg?

No Sugar in my Dessert please!

Is it possible to have dessert without sugar? Yes you can, if you choose shaved ice and fruits and other condiments. At least we can choose not to eat the sweetened red beans, enjoy the raisins and sweetcorn. My parents used to eat cendol without the gula melaka - at least they could still enjoy cendol together with us.

This time I remembered to ask the waiter to serve the palm sugar (gula Melaka) separately. That way I could have only a teaspoon of sugar or so instead of the whole little milk jug full of sugar! Malaysians can really consume a lot of sugar!

Curry Chee Cheong Fun is Delicious!

I had curry chee cheong fun (thinly rolled steamed rice sheets cut like pin wheels, served in dried fried shrimp curry sauce) yesterday for breakfast. Lunch was friend Malay style bihun (rice vermicelli), with prawn, veggies and chillies.

Poor Brown Rice, waiting to be Served

I had been out nearly daily and did not have time to do any marketing or cook. In fact the boiled brown rice had been languishing in the fridge for 2 days. It should be in the freezer. Tomorrow my son can probably have it for lunch with the chicken chop and potato croquettes .

Chicken Soup

Need to buy some organic chicken at Village Grocer. I prefer to make rich clear soup with vegetables - its more satisfying and nutritious. So easy to prepare and always welcome in our home. Brown rice porridge may be nice too.

Chocolate Cake

Thinking of making some chocolate cake for sale at the shop. Should be fun, cold chocolate dessert for visitors and maybe for sale if I manage to make enough. Perhaps I will send them to Min Fes for their dessert menu. Maybe cream puffs once a while if I am in the mood. Its really hard to bake when one is not in the mood. Mistakes will occur sometimes.

Chang Season Again

Today we visited 1 World Hotel, annexed to 1 Utama shopping mall. May visit the Chinese Restaurant there as I saw the traditional Chinese chang advertised. So hard to get genuine halal Chinese chang.

Its a glutinous rice dumpling with lots of delectable stuffing like chicken, oysters, lentils, sweet melon strips, peppercorns, coriander corns, mushrooms and soya sauce. They are wrapped in bamboo leaves and boiled for several hours until soft and fragrant.

Parents still caring for us when they were well in their 80s - when we should be caring for them. Parents never stop caring for their children.

I remember my mom when I think of all the comfort foods. She was such a great cook and would make chang for all of us even when she was over 80 years old. Its very tedious and needs a lot of energy and time.

Thanks mom. for all your sacrifices. Thanks dad for paying for all the food and home expenses all these years. And thanks for agreeing to consume only halal food in the home for over 20 years! Little did you both knew that one day both of you would embrace Islam.

Shukr Alhamdulillah!

Alhamdulillah! All Praise to Allah SWT for His Mercy and Kindness. I am so thankful that our family is indeed so blessed. And we are further enriched by the many friends around us who had given us lot of support and love all these years.

Monday, May 16, 2011

The Difference between Giving and Taking

Its Allright toTake , Better to Give

Through the years we had been benefitting from the generosity of others - parents, family, friends, peers, employers, managers, writers, leaders etc. Yes, we had been taking from many people through out our lives.

Giving Back

How about giving back? It doesn't mean only financial help or assistance. Some of us may not have that much to spare. However, we can't just say "Oh, I'm not that rich - I cannot help others improve their lives".

We Can! If We Want To!

Its best to give back on a daily basis, in whatever small way we can. Even helping your family is giving back. Giving should be a life long process, not just every now and then, when we feel like it.

It gets Easier with Time!

Give back by caring for others, sharing and giving some moral support. Give advice and your time. Help others to grow, especially in training others to become better at their careers and jobs. Nothing is too small.

Smile! Be Cheerful and Kind

That seems such an easy thing to do, isn't it? Well, not to everyone. Some are just shy and are not comfortable around strangers and people they do not know well. However there are some people do not know how to share. They are not interested to know how others, especially their subordinates feel. Let's not wait for Allah SWT to give us a lesson on manners!

Be Genuinely Concerned

Talk to people, show appreciation to all, including juniors and people who seem lowly to you. Everyone has some goodness and special qualities. They may be so called nobodies but they are a necessary part of the company and part of society.

Respect the Poor and Downtrodden

Its good to be humble. Do not forget the power of the duaa (supplications) of the weak and oppressed. When they ask Allah SWT for blessings for us, their chances of being answered are much higher, insha Allah.

Be Ready to Change

If we are lacking in some ways, its good to reflect on our own attitudes and past behaviour. Is it so hard to make some small changes? We are in constant change.

I remind myself to change even if I cannot make some people change. Yes, be an agent of change. The first step starts with ourselves. No one is perfect so its aright to admit our weaknesses. We are lying to ourselves if we think we do not need to improve. Always room for improvement.

Be Sincere and Natural

Do it naturally and sincerely. You will be amazed that others too will change when you change your attitude towards them.

Everyone is a leader so let us lead with a good intention and ask for Allah's help and guidance to improve ourselves and others. All for His sake.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Nasi Lemak Kopi O TV9

Alhamdulillah! Many thanks to TV9 team for the great interview and air time. It was a very pleasant surprise to find so many people contacting me via FB after watching the program.

Thanks to TV9 Viewers

Thanks to all well wishers who wrote in to support my effort and offer words of encouragement.
I also received quite a number of book orders which I will despatch my by Pos Laju. Courier for overseas orders.

Helping Others to Earn a Little Extra Income

Some schools and invidividuals are also helping me distribute the books. I share a little profit with them. Since the introductory price of RM50 is not much I sometimes only take back my cost. They help me without expecting too much, with a good intention to share the beauty of
covering up with their friends. May Allah SWT accept their good deeds.

Friendly Helpers

Other friends have requested to help me sell my books and some even refused to accept any payment for their hard work of carrying the heavy books all over the place. From last October to May 2011 I had been selling the books at an introductory price of only RM50 excluding postage.

I am very touched by offers by people I hardly know - after reading the book they offer to help me sell my books, using their own time and energy. Another sister even personally approached several shops to sell my books. She managed to sell 30 books within 2 weeks. By helping me she helped me channel part of the takings to help another sister who needed some income.

May Allah SWT reward and bless all of them for their generosity and kindness. May they also obtain the extra rewards when readers change their lives to accept and respect the hijab.

Wonderful Feeling to Cover for Allah

Wearing a headcover and clothes that cover modestly is a wonderful feeling. It only comes when we decide to obey Allah SWT wholeheartedly in that matter.

Not Easy for Change Overnight

Its not easy to make a change but what matters is the sincere intention and the humble and continuous effort to fulfil our obligations. Everything we do eventually benefits us, if not in this life, then in the Hereafter.

Good Things do not come Easy

Good things do not come easy and there can be many distractions and temptations along the way. Somedays we win and some days we lose. When we fall, we must be strong to bounce up again, ready to try again and again.

Muslims must start to make time to write and share

It is my intention to keep on writing and documenting so the future generation can benefit from our effort. I urge Muslims to make time to write about things that matter, ideas and experiences that can help society. We learn so much from other communities. Why are we not giving back?

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Train Ride from Kajang to Batu Caves

An unexpected train ride

Some of you may wonder why I am talking about a train ride in Kuala Lumpur. Its a new experience for me - rushing up the stairs trying to catch the train on the other side of the tracks. We were travelling from Kajang to KL Sentral.

The steps were steep and it was not easy trying to balance my overweight handbag and my overnight bag. It only costed us RM3.40 each from Kajang to Batu Caves, the last stop. We were on the way back from a weekend at Jenderami and Yara Center.

Dinner on board the Orient Express

Tonight I was amused to see the Orient Express in the Batu Cave train terminal. The dining coach was brightly lit with lamps decorated with quaint little shades. I saw tourists in there all dressed up, eating their dinner by the windows. The train was stationery along the dusty old railway tracks.

Maybe the train was deliberately timed to stop over so the passengers could have a relaxed and stable dinner without their chicken and drinks sliding all over the dining table! The humble grimey and dusty surroundings seemed a little surreal.

Have you been on the Orient Express?

Just recently I took a pleasant train ride to Singapore. I asked my friend who was a widely travelled tourist guide whether she had been on the Orient Express before. She said yes and I asked her whether it was any improvement from the ordinary passenger trains.

I was quite amused when I recalled her answer " Not much difference actually. The only difference was that people would dress up formally for dinner and food was served in fine China and silverware". She also mentioned that the food was not even impressive or tasty!.

Wrong Perception can create different impressions

I used to imagine the expensive train ride being very luxurious and elegant, with comfortable carriages, chugging all over the romantic countryside of Europe and Russia! Too many Agatha Christie novels during my teenage days!

Moral of the story : Many people and situations are actually very ordinary but it seems special and attractive just because it is something new and different. What is new to us may be actually dull and boring to people who are used to such a way of life. The grass always seem greener on the other side!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Crazy People on the Road

High Speed Chase

Last week I was involved in a car accident. Saw three cars chasing and trying to overtake each other along MRR2. They were weaving very fast through the heavy traffic, changing from lane to lane, trying to overtake each other.

We can only do so much...

I was in the fast lane minding my own business. Well as much as I could as no driver could drive alone without being aware of what is happening around him or her. We may be careful but not everyone would care about the welfare of other road users.

Life in the fast lane

It was no point in changing lanes as everyone were going quite fast and there was no way to avoid the cars. Its easy enough to stay clear of the fast lane if there were only one mad driver but 3?

Anyway, one of the drivers swerved into the fast lane again, really FAST! All the drivers in front of my car pressed their brakes as quickly as possible. I was anticipating this to happen and managed to keep a fairly safe distance. It was really not possible to slow down as the cars behind me as the momentum was too great.

I kept my foot on the brakes, levelling as hard as possible. Whew! just in time! Stopped really close to the car in front. What a relief!

Bang! What an impact!

Bang! My joy was short lived! A young guy who was probably driving too close and too fast hit the back of my car. I was really irritated by this unnecessary accident. Before I could even get release my seat belt, Another Bang! A second car hit me, by sheer volition as it hit the back of the car behind me. Double impact! Bummer!

An accident waiting to happen!

I got down and saw that my car bumper had broken from its fragile hinge. It hadn't fallen off yet but anything could happen if I started driving. I looked at the car behind me. It could have been a much longer car but I couldn't even figure out the make of the car.

Feeling sorry for the one who hit my car

It was squashed from the front and also from the back. Kind of compacted and mashed in. The 3rd car was equally bad. When I saw the young man's frustration, I felt sorry for him. He was mad at the man who hit him from the back but he expected me to sympathise with him though he hit my car!

Storm Brewing

I did not want to hang around too long as I could sense a storm brewing between the 2 drivers and I was late for work. I told myself I was grateful to be unhurt and only my car bumper needed to be replaced. I do not know how much it would cost as even a small spare part could cost a few hundred ringgit. What more a large bumper!

Local cars are not all that bad!

I am on the other hand quite surprised that my local car was tough enough to withstand the impact of 2 speeding cars on the highway! Alhamdulillah! Its easier to pay for a broken bumper than to replace a broken arm or neck. Where would I go for such special spare parts?

Deliberate Act?

I suspect the 3 drivers could have deliberately caused the accident. A man appeared suddenly and parked his car in front of mine. He actually blocked my path. He asked if I was alright and whether my car had any problems. I said none.


He then turned his attention to the next driver and started a conversation. I think that man could well be an accomplice. He seemed so at ease and used to such accidents.

I did not want to hang around long enough to find out what would happen next. I did not even want to make a claim as it would waste a lot of time, going to the police station, waiting to make a report, parking the car at some distance and walking all over the place to get things sorted out. Not to mention trying to contact the insurance company and then losing the NCB.

Not worth the trouble

Just not worth the time unless its a major accident. You may find yourself stuck for a whole day and that would be even more costly, not mentioning the stress and stress!

Discipline and Patience

We have to be careful on the road and its better to be slow and steady than be caught in the fast lane with crazy drivers. Driving more slowly and carefully needs discipline and patience so those who can do it are really mature and wise. Of course its really difficult to drive slowly as we always seem to be in a great hurry.

May Allah SWT keep us safe on the road. And may we be safe drivers so others can be safe too.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Missing My Parents

Will you miss your parents
when they are gone?

What? You miss your parents? You are not a child anymore - why are you such a baby?

These words may seem common - they may be spoken in earnest, questioning the independance of an individual. Maybe it's a gentle hint for us to grow up and not be so sentimental.

Or are people getting so used to being alone and withdrawn that they have forgotten the warmth and comfort of family life? Was home so unhappy and dull that they want to forget their families?

Which is which?

Do we all still have childhood memories? Happy ones? Sad ones? Only you will know.

Forgive and Let Go of the Past

I guess most of us have a mixture of both, and maybe a bitter sweet relationship with our parents. That's life. We make mistakes all the time, even parents and we will do too as parents ourselves. Live and let live - its alright to still remember old wounds but its better to learn from them. Forgive, maybe we still cannot forget though we sometimes rather prefer to block out every hurt and disappointment of the past.

Jazakallahu Khairan Kathiran

I thank all my friends and even people I do not know well. They showed love, support and concern for me and my family during my difficult times. I received nothing but kind words and even monetary support to pay for the expenses of hospitalization etc. They did not have to do that but they all came even at last minute notice.

Those I could not inform on time apologised for not being there for me. I did not expect anyone to go out of their way for me. I am thankful for the duaas they make for my parents.

Solat Jenazah according to the Sunnah

Many people turned up for solat jenazah of both my parents. It really touched me deeply and words cannot express my appreciation and I thank Allah SWT for giving me help and support in my moments of need. Alhamdulillah!

Losing both parents within a year

I lost my mother during Chinese New Year in 2010. Its was a bitter experience for all of us. Last month I lost my 86 year old father. I was preparing my self for this moment but it still hit me badly, making me remember I cannot be strong and tough all the time.

They were good parents and did what they could, according to their own understanding of their roles and limitations. I appreciate their sacrifices and love which were unconditional. How many people can treat you that way? At least they will not be able to say they would be willing to support and love us for life! Not husbands, wives or lovers!

Work and Obligations

I have to leave my PC to do some work outside my home. Actually I'd rather be sitting in front of my keyboard, spilling out my thoughts, spontaneously as it does lighten the burden of carrying so much grief within.

I was quite busy with work and immersed myself so I would have a quicker recovery time. Just could not write when my thoughts are so scattered, a million things to attend to.

Taking a break

Took a short trip to Singapore with my son just to take a break. I needed a different environment and different people around me to bring me back. Singapore is great where transport is concerned.

Lots of Halal Food

Discovered great halal food in Muslim areas and even in food courts. I enjoyed the fish noodle soup and soto. Good service and the prices are reasonable too. Thanks to my friend Latifah who was an energetic companion. We stayed at Marine Parade and my 'sister' Sally and her husband Kim took us for a lovely dinner at Arab Street. We also went for night sight seeing like real tourists! Actually all the worldly sights do not mean much for a passing traveller of this earthly planet. Just passing through... trying to find the right path.

Aunt Leslie

My last trip to Singapore was over 20 years ago! Miss my aunties and cousins though. I planned to visit my Aunt Leslie but have misplaced her phone no. I feel so bad - been procrastinating to inform her that both my parents have passed awayl

She would be heart broken but worse still - will I be too late! She is a cancer survivor, a beautiful lady, well in her late 60s by now. A great cook and mother, who raised her 3 children on her own and sent them through university when my dear uncle passed away suddenly. I only have great memories of my uncle Bobby and aunt Leslie.