Make your own home
Yes, a house is not a home unless we make it "our own" by giving it an identity and love. It does not mean having to buy a house physically. Sounds vague? But you know what I mean.
Just an object
If we just throw in all the furniture and use the house as an object, it will remain an object, devoid of warmth and security. All the padlocks and bolts cannot keep us safe as only Allah SWT can protect us from any harm.
Home Sweet Home
We can make our home secure in the sense that our home can provide emotional security for us, especially after a long and hard day's work, driving home and diving into our favourite chair and finally relaxing every muscle in our bodies. Well, maybe not as dramatic as that ,but it sure feels good to be home. Nowhere can be better than home. Right or wrong?
So I decided to move all my worldly belongings to a new and strange place, and planning to call it home. MMmmmm... Working hard at it as just a few days ago it was an empty space, full of dust and what have you... unmentionables in case your are having your lunch in front of the PC. Smile...I really dislike lizards! We can actually kill them off but I feel sorry for these cold blooded things - they too want to survive.
Moving is no fun
Sent a lorry load of important stuff like cupboards and beds and my pots and pans. Had been to and fro by car daily, carrying fragile items like glassware, porcelain, clothes. The movers forgot some of the shelves so now almost everything is on the floor, and I thought I had it so well planned. Forgot that human beings do not always co operate or listen to instructions though they all want to get paid. Allah is the best planner.
Casa Cafe
Discovered the Casa Cafe was open only last month. What a shame! The lady cooks delicious food and I only knew 2 weeks before I have to leave. Maybe I will be back more often to enjoy food by the poolside. I used to see people walk round and round the condo and the nice walkway next to the stream but I never had the interest to join them. Not too social sometimes as I like peace and quiet.
I never touched the swimming pool and gym throughout my stay here. No privacy and no fun exercising alone. In fact my friend has a gym and I never even exercised there except once.
Lost weight without going to the gym
Anyway, I already lost over 8 lbs in a 6 weeks (not that much , as my weight control program is aimed at turning fat into muscle which can be heavy too). A friend of mine who started a week before me lost much more as she was very serious and determined to be healthy again. She looks much smaller these days. All my new clothes are loose and I am wearing back all my old favourites which I had almost given away.
Losing weight for the right reasons
Lose weight to gain health. Lose for the right reasons. Vanity and the wish to regain lost figures may be a strong 2nd factor. Who does not want to feel lighter and healthier? Who would seriously claim its great to have a thick neck, bulging tummy and flabby arms? No one, I am quite sure.
When I was young I took my slim figure for granted. I ate anything I wished and never had any problems with weight. With childbirth the body may change. Anyway, the ounces and pounds would just creep up upon us. Suddenly we we were 10 pounds heavier! Some people gained 20 pounds in 10 years , its gradual so we may not notice. Others can tell you how hard it is to lose just 2 pounds. Time to eat well and eat correctly. Its a reminder for myself too.
I feel good. Some of my friends tell me
they want to be healthier too
Today I really feel good about this and feel much healthier. Its not a strict regiment and I get to have my usual breakfast (half boiled eggs and toast etc) and just a lighter lunch with less rice or carbohydrates. As much of protein and vegetables and fruits as I like though we have to be reasonable and not use it as an excuse to keep on eating.
Low fat nutri shake is healthy alternative for a change
Only a trimshake at night though I do not follow too strictly as I do eat out a lot. Just be more selective and take the special herbal supplements. Easy and no heavy exercise to burn fat. Just burning it naturally and scientifically. High tech diet that gives results.
Alhamdulillah! I never dreamt changing my eating habits and lifestyle for 3 months could be so pleasant and effective. Naturally we should eat sensibly even after the 3 month cycle is completed. No binging and nasi lemak, oily goreng pisang and keropok lekor and fried koey teow daily.
I forgot the new me!
Really amazed and sometimes I forgot I am much slimmer now. :) Miracles do happen! Hee Hee. I mean I was only 140 lbs before I started this program but in less than 2 months everything is falling into place. Maybe the feeling of achievement and getting the results. SubhanAllah! It used to take me a whole year to reduce 5 lbs and that was only possible during Ramadhan. Only to gain it back slowly ;( .
In fact it could have been worse. It helps when we make sure we complete all our replacement and the special 6 day optional fasting in Shawal itself . Its a way to discipline ourselves so we do not get carried away with all the multiple open house invitations. It certainly defeats the purpose of fasting in Ramadhan when we can just lose control and overeat at every occasion.
Healthy Heart
So now I am really happy as I can wear a smaller size and feel fitter than ever. My health was not too bad though I had a few small joint problems. I know sometimes putting on a few pounds can lead to more if we are careless. Sometimes we cannot resist some favourite foods and often the worst offenders are the most delicious!
Keep trim in order to have a healthy heart, insha' Allah. In the end it is Allah who decides how and when we will go. However we have the responsibility to make the effort so we do not blame anyone for our illness and suffering. At least we tried.
Lose Some, Gain Some
Some people want to lose weight and others want to gain weight. Gaining weight with protein and healthy fats would be better than eating only desserts.
Some oils are better than others.
Olive oil, flaxseed oil, santan (not coconut oil as that does not make us fat) and eating high calories fruits and perhaps grain bread, meat and some protein shake may help us gain weight. Make hummus with virgin olive oil, tahina and lemon. We can cook with olive oil and santan may help too.
Delicious creamy ice cream and cream puffs?Egg tarts and fruit tarts? Tiramisu and carrot cake with cream cheese topping? Wow! Those who want to gain weight sure have a lot of fun following the doctor's orders!
Friday, June 17, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Moving House ? Not Again!
Fear of Moving but Move, I will
No body likes to move house. Why? Its too much work and expensive to hire lorries and people to help with the packing and unpacking. We cannot do it alone and it is cheaper for us to pay someone to do the menial and repetitive tasks of cleaning, wrapping, packing, stacking etc The downside is somethings may be broken as people may not be sentimental about our old and treasured momentos and prized purchases.
Do not be attached to Duniya
I learnt not to love the worldly goods too much though they do add some value and culture to our otherwise mundane life. Many times the helpers have broken some prized momento and casually tossed them into the garden or the bin, without a single apology. To them its all junk and perhaps it is. Expensive junk. :)
New way of looking at life
A new home and new location gives an entirely new perspective to things and we get out of the comfort zone (which I think is more appropriately called the rut) to look at life in a different way. We also get to love or hate our new situation and learn patience and humility when we realise we have not much choice but to tolerate and accept the inevitable.
Testing every day, every way
With every decision comes some consequences. Its a way to test our patience and humility, our ability to find good out of every difficult situation. So now I can only say Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah!
Sweet melodies from our feathered friends
I got used to the bird sounds at Tropicana but at my new home I get to experience a different group of birds. I have not observed them yet due to my over exhaustion and late hours but am thrilled to hear sweet singing of a varying range of sounds. Very different singing and very refreshing. And I get to see so many cats! I named one Small Lion - mixed pedigree with long fur and a bushy mane and sweeping tail.
Cats are calming?
I love cats - will write about them another day. They are really calming and fun until some tom cat decides he wants to be king and leader of the pack. They fight for territory and for their mates. Not an easy life always. Anyway that is their fitrah so we should not really be upset too much. Just be glad we are not cats.
Really busy trying to record all the new prices for the new collection but my printer is not cooperating....
No body likes to move house. Why? Its too much work and expensive to hire lorries and people to help with the packing and unpacking. We cannot do it alone and it is cheaper for us to pay someone to do the menial and repetitive tasks of cleaning, wrapping, packing, stacking etc The downside is somethings may be broken as people may not be sentimental about our old and treasured momentos and prized purchases.
Do not be attached to Duniya
I learnt not to love the worldly goods too much though they do add some value and culture to our otherwise mundane life. Many times the helpers have broken some prized momento and casually tossed them into the garden or the bin, without a single apology. To them its all junk and perhaps it is. Expensive junk. :)
New way of looking at life
A new home and new location gives an entirely new perspective to things and we get out of the comfort zone (which I think is more appropriately called the rut) to look at life in a different way. We also get to love or hate our new situation and learn patience and humility when we realise we have not much choice but to tolerate and accept the inevitable.
Testing every day, every way
With every decision comes some consequences. Its a way to test our patience and humility, our ability to find good out of every difficult situation. So now I can only say Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah!
Sweet melodies from our feathered friends
I got used to the bird sounds at Tropicana but at my new home I get to experience a different group of birds. I have not observed them yet due to my over exhaustion and late hours but am thrilled to hear sweet singing of a varying range of sounds. Very different singing and very refreshing. And I get to see so many cats! I named one Small Lion - mixed pedigree with long fur and a bushy mane and sweeping tail.
Cats are calming?
I love cats - will write about them another day. They are really calming and fun until some tom cat decides he wants to be king and leader of the pack. They fight for territory and for their mates. Not an easy life always. Anyway that is their fitrah so we should not really be upset too much. Just be glad we are not cats.
Really busy trying to record all the new prices for the new collection but my printer is not cooperating....
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Time to Move On & Dates for Sale in Ramadhan
Shall I go or shall I stay?
I try to block my mind to the fact that I shall be moving out of my lovely sanctuary before the end of this month. How I will miss the rain and the rising streamlet. The beautiful flight of the large birds and the sweet songs every morning. The lightning blue kingfisher and ripples in the water. Mr Biawak and junior biawak - large monitors. I did hesitate about giving my notice to the landlord but I know I must move on.
Detached, perhaps to prepare myself to leave
Strangely enough, I do not feel much attachment to the apartment itself though I really appreciate the fresh air, so cool that I sometimes need to use a light blanket at night. And the air con is not even on! I used to switch on the air conditioner from 7pm right up to morning because of the hot weather in Subang. At Tropicana, its really COOL. I think I must have used the air conditioner maximum 7 times for the whole year.
What happens when trees are felled?
It really shows that when we cut down all trees and leave everything covered in concrete we will experience local weather change. If we cut down a whole hill, what do we expect?
Why am I saying goodbye?
So why am I saying goodbye to all this? Not much choice, really. I have to be practical as moving on means we save a lot of time on the road and that means saving a great deal on petrol, toll, wear and tear of the vehicles and also less stress insha'Allah.
It certainly is nicer to drive 15 minutes to class instead of spending 45 minutes minimum each trip. I do not even have to drive, I can just walk to work. In the end, the most important thing I will save is TIME. It is invaluable and cannot be captured ever again.
Boxes, boxes everywhere
Coming back to moving house, I am getting used to the ever growing number of boxes in every room of the apartment. This time I am going to move in stages. Monday one lorry load and the following week, another lorry will send the rest of the items.
Somethings gotta go...
This way I will not fill the house with too many boxes and furniture all at once. I find it difficult to part with my collection of books. To make up for that I gave away a few bags of clothes, bed linens, cooking utensils and equipment etc. Somethings have to go....
Blank Upstairs
My mind is quite blank and I have not decided where to position the furniture or where to store the kitchen stuff. I am not the kind who enjoys housekeeping. Moving house is very challenging. Stressed for weeks and after moving stressed for even more, as it takes forever to put things in order again.
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Dates for Ramadhan
I got my new order for a carton of Lyna fresh dates from Tunisia today. In July there will be more orders. Some dates will be sent to customer's relatives overseas. I sell dates every Ramadhan as it gives me a chance to earn a little extra income and my customers get their dates at a reasonable price instead of paying more at the shops.
Is it fun? Mmmm ...Not exactly
Its actually hard work and I have to carry the heavy cartons everywhere. Whenever I collect, when I remove them from the car to store in a cool place in the house, then some have to be in the fridge. Finally I have to place them all again into the car for delivery. And that means carrying the heavy cartons from the car which may be far away, to the customer's home. Sometimes they are not in and I have to visit them again to collect what they owe. Phew!!! Does that sound fun? Certainly not. Every year I tell myself that's the last time I would ever sell the dates. Yet each year I end up doing it again.
Why do I want to sell dates again?
Why? I really appreciate my friends who make effort to order the dates from me. They can buy them from anywhere they like, maybe at a cheaper price. Of course seldom the same quality. I keep my prices fairly low to keep my customers satisfied. They never ask for discount but I know people spend a lot on everything in Ramadhan. Its good to give a reasonable price so they can do more ibadah.
Customer Satisfaction
And I feel happy when I see they are pleased with the products. That is job satisfaction - when my customers thank me and express their appreciation. When I manage to deliver the items on time though many of them order at the last minute. That means making so many calls.fighting for the last carton, making extra trips and getting caught in traffic jams because the timing is unexpected.
Flying Dates
Sometimes they suddenly need to order extra to send to their relatives abroad. That means extra business for me. :D The dates are flying everywhere!
No wonder my friends are so enthusiastic about selling dates!
Actually some friends are selling the same items at RM2 more per box and that means extra profit of RM24 per carton. I sell Lyna fresh dates with stalks at only RM14 but my friends are selling them by the hundreds of boxes, between RM15 to RM16 per box. Some shops sell exactly the same dates at RM18. I still sell them at RM 14 this year.
Other varieties - everyone has different taste
It also gets a little complicated as I also sell several other qualities like Mariami, Bam, Ajwa and Medjool. Sometimes I need to weigh and repack them into smaller bags for distribution to the end source, usually orphans and needy. This activity is quite relaxing and rewarding though I need to sacrifice my time.
Not right to make too much profit for dates
I just feel its not right to make too much profit for such an essential item in Ramadhan. Making it affordable means more people can get their rewards from Allah when they buy and distribute their dates to friends and strangers alike. Yes, we all want to share in order to obtain some of their rewards too. Allah is so Generous, we can benefit from other people's efforts so easily. Alhamdulillah!
How to resist a win win situation?
I consider it an ibadah to provide customers with quality affordable dates. I also get to donate a lot of dates for breaking of fast because I get them at a discount. That is fringe benefit. Win Win situation that is hard to resist.
I try to block my mind to the fact that I shall be moving out of my lovely sanctuary before the end of this month. How I will miss the rain and the rising streamlet. The beautiful flight of the large birds and the sweet songs every morning. The lightning blue kingfisher and ripples in the water. Mr Biawak and junior biawak - large monitors. I did hesitate about giving my notice to the landlord but I know I must move on.
Detached, perhaps to prepare myself to leave
Strangely enough, I do not feel much attachment to the apartment itself though I really appreciate the fresh air, so cool that I sometimes need to use a light blanket at night. And the air con is not even on! I used to switch on the air conditioner from 7pm right up to morning because of the hot weather in Subang. At Tropicana, its really COOL. I think I must have used the air conditioner maximum 7 times for the whole year.
What happens when trees are felled?
It really shows that when we cut down all trees and leave everything covered in concrete we will experience local weather change. If we cut down a whole hill, what do we expect?
Why am I saying goodbye?
So why am I saying goodbye to all this? Not much choice, really. I have to be practical as moving on means we save a lot of time on the road and that means saving a great deal on petrol, toll, wear and tear of the vehicles and also less stress insha'Allah.
It certainly is nicer to drive 15 minutes to class instead of spending 45 minutes minimum each trip. I do not even have to drive, I can just walk to work. In the end, the most important thing I will save is TIME. It is invaluable and cannot be captured ever again.
Boxes, boxes everywhere
Coming back to moving house, I am getting used to the ever growing number of boxes in every room of the apartment. This time I am going to move in stages. Monday one lorry load and the following week, another lorry will send the rest of the items.
Somethings gotta go...
This way I will not fill the house with too many boxes and furniture all at once. I find it difficult to part with my collection of books. To make up for that I gave away a few bags of clothes, bed linens, cooking utensils and equipment etc. Somethings have to go....
Blank Upstairs
My mind is quite blank and I have not decided where to position the furniture or where to store the kitchen stuff. I am not the kind who enjoys housekeeping. Moving house is very challenging. Stressed for weeks and after moving stressed for even more, as it takes forever to put things in order again.
&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&
Dates for Ramadhan
I got my new order for a carton of Lyna fresh dates from Tunisia today. In July there will be more orders. Some dates will be sent to customer's relatives overseas. I sell dates every Ramadhan as it gives me a chance to earn a little extra income and my customers get their dates at a reasonable price instead of paying more at the shops.
Is it fun? Mmmm ...Not exactly
Its actually hard work and I have to carry the heavy cartons everywhere. Whenever I collect, when I remove them from the car to store in a cool place in the house, then some have to be in the fridge. Finally I have to place them all again into the car for delivery. And that means carrying the heavy cartons from the car which may be far away, to the customer's home. Sometimes they are not in and I have to visit them again to collect what they owe. Phew!!! Does that sound fun? Certainly not. Every year I tell myself that's the last time I would ever sell the dates. Yet each year I end up doing it again.
Why do I want to sell dates again?
Why? I really appreciate my friends who make effort to order the dates from me. They can buy them from anywhere they like, maybe at a cheaper price. Of course seldom the same quality. I keep my prices fairly low to keep my customers satisfied. They never ask for discount but I know people spend a lot on everything in Ramadhan. Its good to give a reasonable price so they can do more ibadah.
Customer Satisfaction
And I feel happy when I see they are pleased with the products. That is job satisfaction - when my customers thank me and express their appreciation. When I manage to deliver the items on time though many of them order at the last minute. That means making so many calls.fighting for the last carton, making extra trips and getting caught in traffic jams because the timing is unexpected.
Flying Dates
Sometimes they suddenly need to order extra to send to their relatives abroad. That means extra business for me. :D The dates are flying everywhere!
No wonder my friends are so enthusiastic about selling dates!
Actually some friends are selling the same items at RM2 more per box and that means extra profit of RM24 per carton. I sell Lyna fresh dates with stalks at only RM14 but my friends are selling them by the hundreds of boxes, between RM15 to RM16 per box. Some shops sell exactly the same dates at RM18. I still sell them at RM 14 this year.
Other varieties - everyone has different taste
It also gets a little complicated as I also sell several other qualities like Mariami, Bam, Ajwa and Medjool. Sometimes I need to weigh and repack them into smaller bags for distribution to the end source, usually orphans and needy. This activity is quite relaxing and rewarding though I need to sacrifice my time.
Not right to make too much profit for dates
I just feel its not right to make too much profit for such an essential item in Ramadhan. Making it affordable means more people can get their rewards from Allah when they buy and distribute their dates to friends and strangers alike. Yes, we all want to share in order to obtain some of their rewards too. Allah is so Generous, we can benefit from other people's efforts so easily. Alhamdulillah!
How to resist a win win situation?
I consider it an ibadah to provide customers with quality affordable dates. I also get to donate a lot of dates for breaking of fast because I get them at a discount. That is fringe benefit. Win Win situation that is hard to resist.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Sharing Meals together is more enjoyable
Tasty Yong Tow Foo at Last!
Alhamdulillah! (All Praise be to Allah) today I had the pleasure of a very nice lunch with 2 dear sisters. They knew I had been missing good quality yong tow foo for some time. Just did not have the time to go look for a halal one. Heard there is one near Ampang Point but they just mentioned maybe it is not halal. Perhaps it is now since its been some time they patronised the place. Anyway, just look out for the halal sign.
We ate at Homeland Yong Tow Foo, a simple halal shop in Wangsa Maju, near the MRR2 flyover. Food was served quickly and the fish tasted like real fish. You know what I mean.
Cost of Living going up, even yong tow foo has shrunken in size
Price is reasonable, around 80 sen a piece but the portion is not too large. I guess 7 pieces for an average eater is maybe not enough because it is very light. We shared a small bowl of rice and resisted the asam fish, ginger chicken and veggies etc. Wanted to have just yong tow foo for a light meal.
Have to do some baking as my customers need chocolate cakes tomorrow. I cannot procrastinate any longer. Had to take a hot mug of coffee just to keep awake.
Take turns to share
Jazakillahu khairan sis Nor Aini who insisted on giving us a treat. Sis Farah has insisted on paying for the next round so my turn will be last. Its nice to give a treat as we will get the chance to feed some people and get some reward of sharing and caring.
If we go Dutch it is less meaningful but it depends. If the meal is costly then we will not be able to invite so many to join us because of our limited budget.
Spanish Buffet
This Sunday we plan to have Spanish buffet. Its Dutch all the way as RM29 net though very reasonable, is a hefty sum for one person to handle.
Many bros and sis are thinking of the delicious fragrant traditional dumplings (chang) lately.
Chang Making Session, anyone?
Maybe we have to organise a chang making session. I do miss my late mom Hanifah Chong as she would patiently make quite a lot for us, perhaps 80 pieces almost yearly. I do not know how to wrap properly so she ended up doing most of the work. She was diligent and was very focused. Once she made up her mind, she would go all out. She would then share some with the chang addicts. Miss you, mom.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Enjoy your life
What's the difference?
Good and Bad Days. Not every day is a good day. We are already thankful that nothing disastrous happened. That would be a bad day. So other days can be considered good actually. Make sense?
Some ways to enjoy one's life
To enjoy one's life does not mean to be happy everyday and to feel great most times. It doesn't work that way. Little acts of kindness and sacrifice, signs of goodness, beauty and calmness add towards the enjoyment of the moment.
Look for the better moments
Every moment adds up to be seconds, minutes and hours in a day. Look for for the better moments and hold it tight within your grasp, close to your heart. What we have in our hand may just be gone in the blink of an eye.
We do not own anything
Just like catching a snowflake, slurping an iceball or watching the changing colours of sunset. Everything is moving towards its own destiny. Every one of us is moving towards our final destination.
Even tyrants must submit to the will of Allah
It does not matter whether you are a believer or someone who does not even believe in the existence of Allah Almighty. Even people who do not believe in god will still have to kneel and submit to the Allah's laws of creation and death.
All things must pass
So no matter where we are, no matter if we are having a good time or experiencing great sorrow, all things must pass. All oppression and hardship must end one day, just as great moments of joy may suddenly be replaced by disappointment and anguish.
Fleeting time
Nothing can remain the same except by the will of Allah SWT. Our time here is fleeting and we are created for a purpose. Are we going to feel burdened and heavy with the responsibilities of serving Allah? We can change that attitude and learn to feel exhilaration and energy in serving Him.
Purpose of life
How do we fulfil our purpose of life? Allah is all Merciful and Wise. He never gives us a burden more than we can bear. He knows our individual capability and He sends help so often to keep us going. He comforts when we are down and heals us when we are ill.
Free air, water, oxygen
In order to be grateful for all His blessings, we need to acknowledge and appreciate all the blessings He has showered upon us. Free air, water, oxygen. Trees that absorb the carbon in the air and gives us oxygen in return. Fresh and healthy food from the land, mountains and ocean. Our ability to rationalise, to be creative and to love.
Live with energy and purpose
Allah has given us all the ingredients that promotes our well being and survival. Despite wars, terror and opression we must not allow ourselves to be overly depressed and stressed. If we want change then let us be the one to start first. Take up the challenge and live your life with energy and purpose.
Enjoy what you do
Muslims can only do their best, keep on improving their efforts and knowledge. Enjoy what we have to do since we still have to do it anyway. Truly acknowledge the bounties of our Creator. What is destined to happen will happen anyway. Just tie up our camel and learn to enjoy whatever blessings that come our way, it doesn't matter whether they are big or small.
Do not be negative
Make up our minds to enjoy our lives and not just exist day to day, expecting the worst to happen. If we keep on thinking about it and talking about it, the picture becomes larger than life. In the end some incidents actually happened because we kept dwelling on it and subconsciously allow it to happen.
Have courage and trust
In other words, face our future with courage, with trust in Allah's Mercy. Fulfil our worldly and spiritual responsibilities and have positive attitude . Ask Allah for help and depend on him only.
No one can help us
Do not for a minute think so and so, a mere creation of Allah can help us without Allah's permission. Do not think we benefitted because we believed so and so was the only one who could help us. We may forget and carelessly assume someone has the same kind of power as Allah. Its something like placing this person on the same level as Allah. We may not have meant it that way but that's what we had done.
Accept setbacks with wisdom
When we face setbacks in life, accept them with wisdom and learn from that experience. Its better to accept the changing situation and down size until things improve. There is no shame or embarassement when we sell our extra car, or move to a smaller home. Be proud that you do not need to borrow from banks or relatives. Being poor or less wealthy is not a crime or a sin.
Owing people money or making promises we cannot keep is much worse because we harm other people. We should not take away the right of others or abuse kindness of others.
We can still enjoy our lives on a lower budget when we keep working to improve our situation. Work, tawakkal and turn to Allah for help. Allah decides the end result.
Poor people have less worries
Not all poor people are miserable, they can be happier than their wealthy cousins because they appreciate every little blessing. Filthy rich people may enjoy lots of worldly belongings but we do not know whether they can even sleep well at night. They too may be worried about tomorrow; they have much to lose compared to ordinary people.
Acknowledge and enjoy all the blessings of Allah
Yes, acknowledge and enjoy all the blessings of Allah. Live your life well. We do not know when our fellow men will destroy more parts of our beautiful world and universe.There is already a lot of injustice and destruction of the environment even right now. How many hundreds of years will it take for the trees to stand tall again? These are things even the wealthy cannot guarantee for their younger generation.
Good and Bad Days. Not every day is a good day. We are already thankful that nothing disastrous happened. That would be a bad day. So other days can be considered good actually. Make sense?
Some ways to enjoy one's life
To enjoy one's life does not mean to be happy everyday and to feel great most times. It doesn't work that way. Little acts of kindness and sacrifice, signs of goodness, beauty and calmness add towards the enjoyment of the moment.
Look for the better moments
Every moment adds up to be seconds, minutes and hours in a day. Look for for the better moments and hold it tight within your grasp, close to your heart. What we have in our hand may just be gone in the blink of an eye.
We do not own anything
Just like catching a snowflake, slurping an iceball or watching the changing colours of sunset. Everything is moving towards its own destiny. Every one of us is moving towards our final destination.
Even tyrants must submit to the will of Allah
It does not matter whether you are a believer or someone who does not even believe in the existence of Allah Almighty. Even people who do not believe in god will still have to kneel and submit to the Allah's laws of creation and death.
All things must pass
So no matter where we are, no matter if we are having a good time or experiencing great sorrow, all things must pass. All oppression and hardship must end one day, just as great moments of joy may suddenly be replaced by disappointment and anguish.
Fleeting time
Nothing can remain the same except by the will of Allah SWT. Our time here is fleeting and we are created for a purpose. Are we going to feel burdened and heavy with the responsibilities of serving Allah? We can change that attitude and learn to feel exhilaration and energy in serving Him.
Purpose of life
How do we fulfil our purpose of life? Allah is all Merciful and Wise. He never gives us a burden more than we can bear. He knows our individual capability and He sends help so often to keep us going. He comforts when we are down and heals us when we are ill.
Free air, water, oxygen
In order to be grateful for all His blessings, we need to acknowledge and appreciate all the blessings He has showered upon us. Free air, water, oxygen. Trees that absorb the carbon in the air and gives us oxygen in return. Fresh and healthy food from the land, mountains and ocean. Our ability to rationalise, to be creative and to love.
Live with energy and purpose
Allah has given us all the ingredients that promotes our well being and survival. Despite wars, terror and opression we must not allow ourselves to be overly depressed and stressed. If we want change then let us be the one to start first. Take up the challenge and live your life with energy and purpose.
Enjoy what you do
Muslims can only do their best, keep on improving their efforts and knowledge. Enjoy what we have to do since we still have to do it anyway. Truly acknowledge the bounties of our Creator. What is destined to happen will happen anyway. Just tie up our camel and learn to enjoy whatever blessings that come our way, it doesn't matter whether they are big or small.
Do not be negative
Make up our minds to enjoy our lives and not just exist day to day, expecting the worst to happen. If we keep on thinking about it and talking about it, the picture becomes larger than life. In the end some incidents actually happened because we kept dwelling on it and subconsciously allow it to happen.
Have courage and trust
In other words, face our future with courage, with trust in Allah's Mercy. Fulfil our worldly and spiritual responsibilities and have positive attitude . Ask Allah for help and depend on him only.
No one can help us
Do not for a minute think so and so, a mere creation of Allah can help us without Allah's permission. Do not think we benefitted because we believed so and so was the only one who could help us. We may forget and carelessly assume someone has the same kind of power as Allah. Its something like placing this person on the same level as Allah. We may not have meant it that way but that's what we had done.
Accept setbacks with wisdom
When we face setbacks in life, accept them with wisdom and learn from that experience. Its better to accept the changing situation and down size until things improve. There is no shame or embarassement when we sell our extra car, or move to a smaller home. Be proud that you do not need to borrow from banks or relatives. Being poor or less wealthy is not a crime or a sin.
Owing people money or making promises we cannot keep is much worse because we harm other people. We should not take away the right of others or abuse kindness of others.
We can still enjoy our lives on a lower budget when we keep working to improve our situation. Work, tawakkal and turn to Allah for help. Allah decides the end result.
Poor people have less worries
Not all poor people are miserable, they can be happier than their wealthy cousins because they appreciate every little blessing. Filthy rich people may enjoy lots of worldly belongings but we do not know whether they can even sleep well at night. They too may be worried about tomorrow; they have much to lose compared to ordinary people.
Acknowledge and enjoy all the blessings of Allah
Yes, acknowledge and enjoy all the blessings of Allah. Live your life well. We do not know when our fellow men will destroy more parts of our beautiful world and universe.There is already a lot of injustice and destruction of the environment even right now. How many hundreds of years will it take for the trees to stand tall again? These are things even the wealthy cannot guarantee for their younger generation.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
When we lose someone we love
Why do people leave?
Good question. sometimes there is no answer. People leave when they change; when they cannot manage a relationship or when they themselves behaved so badly that they cannot repair the damage.
They do not know how to mend a broken heart, out of desperation they give up and run away. They leave behind people who love them. Sometimes there is no other way, for staying on would cause more sorrow later on.
Happiness and hardship are tests for us
Others may love, betray and turn away because their hearts are weak and filled with shaitan's whisperings. Many such experiences are simply tests for us. How do we react to such situations?
What do we do when someone leaves?
Do we face it with patience and determination to go into damage control? Do we try to pick up the pieces and try to mend the broken heart together? Or do some people just love us, break our hearts and leave us to carry on alone, leaving responsibilities and a trail of broken promises?
Have we ever hurt someone before?
Sometimes we were the ones who had broken someone's heart. If we try to remember our past, perhaps sometime in our life we had done the same thing , to someone we have long forgotten. Someone who deserved better treatment and respect from us.
Maybe we were too young to understand the impact of our careless action or we did not know what to do so we just block it out of our minds.
Different people react differently
There was once a girl who liked someone of a different race and religion during our schooldays. Her parents were very unhappy with this friendship. She told me he was a very nice person and he treated her very well.
One day she told me she had broken off with him. How did she do it? Being only 17, she had no idea about handling the matter with maturity. She was scared her heart would soften.
She told me she purposely treated him badly and threw his present into the garbage bin in his presence, just to make him angry with her. She did all sorts of terrible things to turn him away from her.
In actual fact she still liked him and she did it because of pressure from her parents. The poor guy must have hurt a lot and perhaps his self esteem destroyed at that moment.
Its ironic because some years later she went abroad to further studies, met someone just like him and decided to marry this person. I think the parents were not too pleased by that but she decided to follow her heart. Her parents soon warmed up with the arrival of grandchildren. Life is like that.
Accept what is fated and get on with life
Sometimes we are not fated to be with someone for too long. Its better to appreciate the good times and be thankful to Allah for the happy memories. Isn't that better than to keep thinking of the grief and 'loss'? Everything will just be focused on negative energy and that would really drain us thoroughly. Surely we have better things to do that to live in the past. Wake Up!
The clock will keep ticking
People come and people go for various reasons. Sometimes its very hard to accept that though we try to understand. Many times it may not have anything to do with us personally but the other party had changed and we cannot turn back the clock.
Put our trust in Allah
The pure for the pure and the impure for the impure. Allah SWT wants to protect us and help us to stay on the straight path. Some things we feel is bad for is actually the best. We cannot see it at the very moment and this is when we have to learn to put our trust in Allah. Very often we still cling on to things and to people who are no longer good for us. Allah knows best.
Sometimes toxic relationships need a good shake up. If it still doesn't work, it may be time to move on. Nobody belongs to us and we belong to no one. Only Allah SWT has that right over us.
Know our priorities
What matters most is we remain faithful to Allah and He is always close to those who make effort to be close to Him. He always gives us a fair deal but we sometimes prefer to grief over what does not belong to us and had never belonged to us.
We grieve even though some people revealed their actual true and evil colours. Why do we even want them back if they cannot even behave as a true Muslim? We can be forgiving but we must know when to reject such disrespect. Surely we deserve better than that. Learn to love and respect ourselves.
Yet we do not grief when we or our children do not follow the sunnah or fulfil our solat, fasting and zakat. On the last day we will shall be alone and to Him we will return. Nothing else would matter.
Keep the right perspective
Lets keep the right perspective and strive to be steadfast in the face of adversity. These days I remind myself that we own nothing in reality and we will take nothing with us when we leave this worldly life.
Remember the purpose of our life -to worship and serve Allah,
not dwell on things we that we never actually had
We pray for the good of this world and good of the hereafter. Yet we must try to live this life as a traveller and keep our focus on our final destination. That way we can strive to serve Allah SWT well to make ourselves worthy of all the beautiful rewards of paradise.
Good question. sometimes there is no answer. People leave when they change; when they cannot manage a relationship or when they themselves behaved so badly that they cannot repair the damage.
They do not know how to mend a broken heart, out of desperation they give up and run away. They leave behind people who love them. Sometimes there is no other way, for staying on would cause more sorrow later on.
Happiness and hardship are tests for us
Others may love, betray and turn away because their hearts are weak and filled with shaitan's whisperings. Many such experiences are simply tests for us. How do we react to such situations?
What do we do when someone leaves?
Do we face it with patience and determination to go into damage control? Do we try to pick up the pieces and try to mend the broken heart together? Or do some people just love us, break our hearts and leave us to carry on alone, leaving responsibilities and a trail of broken promises?
Have we ever hurt someone before?
Sometimes we were the ones who had broken someone's heart. If we try to remember our past, perhaps sometime in our life we had done the same thing , to someone we have long forgotten. Someone who deserved better treatment and respect from us.
Maybe we were too young to understand the impact of our careless action or we did not know what to do so we just block it out of our minds.
Different people react differently
There was once a girl who liked someone of a different race and religion during our schooldays. Her parents were very unhappy with this friendship. She told me he was a very nice person and he treated her very well.
One day she told me she had broken off with him. How did she do it? Being only 17, she had no idea about handling the matter with maturity. She was scared her heart would soften.
She told me she purposely treated him badly and threw his present into the garbage bin in his presence, just to make him angry with her. She did all sorts of terrible things to turn him away from her.
In actual fact she still liked him and she did it because of pressure from her parents. The poor guy must have hurt a lot and perhaps his self esteem destroyed at that moment.
Its ironic because some years later she went abroad to further studies, met someone just like him and decided to marry this person. I think the parents were not too pleased by that but she decided to follow her heart. Her parents soon warmed up with the arrival of grandchildren. Life is like that.
Accept what is fated and get on with life
Sometimes we are not fated to be with someone for too long. Its better to appreciate the good times and be thankful to Allah for the happy memories. Isn't that better than to keep thinking of the grief and 'loss'? Everything will just be focused on negative energy and that would really drain us thoroughly. Surely we have better things to do that to live in the past. Wake Up!
The clock will keep ticking
People come and people go for various reasons. Sometimes its very hard to accept that though we try to understand. Many times it may not have anything to do with us personally but the other party had changed and we cannot turn back the clock.
Put our trust in Allah
The pure for the pure and the impure for the impure. Allah SWT wants to protect us and help us to stay on the straight path. Some things we feel is bad for is actually the best. We cannot see it at the very moment and this is when we have to learn to put our trust in Allah. Very often we still cling on to things and to people who are no longer good for us. Allah knows best.
Sometimes toxic relationships need a good shake up. If it still doesn't work, it may be time to move on. Nobody belongs to us and we belong to no one. Only Allah SWT has that right over us.
Know our priorities
What matters most is we remain faithful to Allah and He is always close to those who make effort to be close to Him. He always gives us a fair deal but we sometimes prefer to grief over what does not belong to us and had never belonged to us.
We grieve even though some people revealed their actual true and evil colours. Why do we even want them back if they cannot even behave as a true Muslim? We can be forgiving but we must know when to reject such disrespect. Surely we deserve better than that. Learn to love and respect ourselves.
Yet we do not grief when we or our children do not follow the sunnah or fulfil our solat, fasting and zakat. On the last day we will shall be alone and to Him we will return. Nothing else would matter.
Keep the right perspective
Lets keep the right perspective and strive to be steadfast in the face of adversity. These days I remind myself that we own nothing in reality and we will take nothing with us when we leave this worldly life.
Remember the purpose of our life -to worship and serve Allah,
not dwell on things we that we never actually had
We pray for the good of this world and good of the hereafter. Yet we must try to live this life as a traveller and keep our focus on our final destination. That way we can strive to serve Allah SWT well to make ourselves worthy of all the beautiful rewards of paradise.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Some ideas on how to dawah our not yet Muslim family
No Hard and Fast Rules
Every family is different. There is no particular way to dawah our family members. It took me a long time as I did not know where to start. Then I began attending classes and after listening to the uztaz repeat and repeat so many verses and hadiths over and over again I got a bit familiar and confident with sharing.
Share Correct Information
Actually we do not need to know a lot but we need to be sure what we learn is the correct information. In other words, lets make sure there is dalil or evidence. That way we will have confidence that whatever we share is correct and not misleading.
It will also create a negative impression when we have to admit that we misinformed them. Some people may think we deliberately lied to them.
Find the right moment to share
Once we are sure of certain information, we need to find the right moment to share that information. Its not so appropriate to suddenly, in the middle of a family dinner, to talk excitedly about some hadith that relates to punishment or war.
Give Positive Information
Its better to talk about something that is related to the occasion or conversation . Offer pleasant information, not news that upset people.
Take your time to share.
Just because we learnt something it doesn't mean we need to share it with our family. Too much information will irritate them or turn them off. They will think we are fanatic because they do not understand that we are trying to help them.
Be the Best Muslim within your ability
Share bit by bit. The most important form of dawah is to be the best Muslim and best person in the family.
Insha' Allah they will notice the change in us and soon they will come to depend on us and not on our brothers and sisters. Its good to help our family and it creates bonding.
Do not be Stingy or Selfish
Rezeki is from Allah SWT
Any money you spend on them is charity and also in the way of Allah. I used to tell my mother that my money was her money as she was my mother. I may not have much to give but it gives her a sense of appreciation and comfort.
Let our family know Muslims are commanded by Allah maintain ties of kinship
When I do something special for them, I tell them the truth- that normally I may not even consider doing it but only because Allah want us to treat our family well. Let them be grateful to Allah for our efforts.
Let them know parents are honoured in Islam
They may not acknowledge it but it will sink in gradually.Do not sound arrogant or rude, let them be happy with your efforts. Parents do not need us to patronise them.
Like Christians, Muslims must learn to share the good news to others. Do not frighten people off. Islam is beautiful and punishment is always only a deterrent for the protection of the community.
When we do something good, tell them we are following the sunnah (tradition) of our Prophet saw
Tell people about our beloved Prophet saw. Tell them about his kindness, his patience and compassion. Learn some hadiths that talk about his kindness and humility.
Purpose of Life
Talk about the wonderful delights of Paradise. Share with them all the rewards of Jannah. Explain little by little the purpose of life - to be grateful and to serve and worship the Creator as the one and only diety worthy of worship.
Explain that Prophet Muhammad was only human and the final messenger of Allah. Tell them the names of all the other messengers.
Conduct friendly discussions, not arguments
When people feel positive then they may be open to more information. They too have some questions to ask. Better to let the questions come from them.
Talk about the similarities and the chain of prophets. They may probably criticise Islam about the controversial topics like polygamy and child brides.
Learn your facts before you answer. Do not argue to win. You will lose your objective and turn them away. Always keep your cool and good manners.
Good manners is good dawah
Be moderate and take your time. Patience and good manners is good dawah. Be generous with your wealth as it is from Allah. He will give us more when we spend on the welfare of others.
Be inclusive, let your family meet your friends
One important turning point for me is when I brought my mother to join me and other sisters. The warmth and love they showered on all the mothers made my mother feel love for them too. She felt included and not just watching us as an outsider.
Do not inconvenience your family. Make it easy for them
Bring your friends to your home and pot luck is good. Ask your friends to eat with your family and do not trouble your mother to prepare any special food. Do not give your family stress but let them feel the generosity of fellow Muslims. That will open doors insha'Allah.
Bring them along for gatherings
Invite them to our silatul rahim gatherings. Bring them when we meet for lunch or dinner. include them when we have iftar. We had done that with our parents and even if they did not accept Islam, they become more tolerant.
Initially some will refuse because they are uncomfortable. We assure them that other parents are also joining us (make sure they are). Tell them they can also make friends with the parents who are not Muslims. They can dress in any way they wish. Let them feel at ease and welcome.
Practise some our our traditional customs
Invite our parents for tea drinking, Chinese lunches or Indian lunches etc. Assure them Muslims have not rejected their culture. Bring them to meet our Chinese Muslim friends from China.Tell them their children have not suddenly turned into Malays. Ha Ha its a big joke to us but not to them. Yes, please use some tact, do not chat in Bahasa Malaysia amongst the Chinese converts. It only reinforces the misconception. We are partly to blame.
Be proud of your own culture.
And remember to wear our own tranditional clothes when we are with them or when we visit. Its more effective than wearing baju Melayu, songkok, sampin and all. "My son has become a Malay! Arrrrgh!!!! No offence meant to our Malay brothers and sisters. We just want to make sure people get the facts right.
Hostile parents need different approach
In the case of hostile parents, we need the help of elderly brothers or sisters who can speak their dialect and find the right moment to get them together. They may not want to meet our friends nor do they want to listen to us. In that case we let things quiet down a bit.
Carry on being good and cheerful. Call them often and buy gifts for them. Just keep on showing your love and attention.
Parents still love us even if they are so angry
Parents still love us but can chose to hurt us badly, by rejecting us or scolding us or even hitting us. They are angry and they hurt so much that they do not know what else to do. Forgive them and keep on making duaa for them. May Allah soften their hearts.
Be humble and admit it if you are not sure of the answer
If you do not know the answer, admit it and say you prefer to verify the facts. Its ok not to know everything. Always speak the truth.
If we can just follow one or two of the above that would already be a very good start. Remember do not bore them or act as if we are better than them. Do not hurt the feelings of people unnecessarily.Very often it is our actions that influence their impressions of Islam.
May Allah SWT guide us and help us in our effort to help our friends and family members.
Every family is different. There is no particular way to dawah our family members. It took me a long time as I did not know where to start. Then I began attending classes and after listening to the uztaz repeat and repeat so many verses and hadiths over and over again I got a bit familiar and confident with sharing.
Share Correct Information
Actually we do not need to know a lot but we need to be sure what we learn is the correct information. In other words, lets make sure there is dalil or evidence. That way we will have confidence that whatever we share is correct and not misleading.
It will also create a negative impression when we have to admit that we misinformed them. Some people may think we deliberately lied to them.
Find the right moment to share
Once we are sure of certain information, we need to find the right moment to share that information. Its not so appropriate to suddenly, in the middle of a family dinner, to talk excitedly about some hadith that relates to punishment or war.
Give Positive Information
Its better to talk about something that is related to the occasion or conversation . Offer pleasant information, not news that upset people.
Take your time to share.
Just because we learnt something it doesn't mean we need to share it with our family. Too much information will irritate them or turn them off. They will think we are fanatic because they do not understand that we are trying to help them.
Be the Best Muslim within your ability
Share bit by bit. The most important form of dawah is to be the best Muslim and best person in the family.
Insha' Allah they will notice the change in us and soon they will come to depend on us and not on our brothers and sisters. Its good to help our family and it creates bonding.
Do not be Stingy or Selfish
Rezeki is from Allah SWT
Any money you spend on them is charity and also in the way of Allah. I used to tell my mother that my money was her money as she was my mother. I may not have much to give but it gives her a sense of appreciation and comfort.
Let our family know Muslims are commanded by Allah maintain ties of kinship
When I do something special for them, I tell them the truth- that normally I may not even consider doing it but only because Allah want us to treat our family well. Let them be grateful to Allah for our efforts.
Let them know parents are honoured in Islam
They may not acknowledge it but it will sink in gradually.Do not sound arrogant or rude, let them be happy with your efforts. Parents do not need us to patronise them.
Like Christians, Muslims must learn to share the good news to others. Do not frighten people off. Islam is beautiful and punishment is always only a deterrent for the protection of the community.
When we do something good, tell them we are following the sunnah (tradition) of our Prophet saw
Tell people about our beloved Prophet saw. Tell them about his kindness, his patience and compassion. Learn some hadiths that talk about his kindness and humility.
Purpose of Life
Talk about the wonderful delights of Paradise. Share with them all the rewards of Jannah. Explain little by little the purpose of life - to be grateful and to serve and worship the Creator as the one and only diety worthy of worship.
Explain that Prophet Muhammad was only human and the final messenger of Allah. Tell them the names of all the other messengers.
Conduct friendly discussions, not arguments
When people feel positive then they may be open to more information. They too have some questions to ask. Better to let the questions come from them.
Talk about the similarities and the chain of prophets. They may probably criticise Islam about the controversial topics like polygamy and child brides.
Learn your facts before you answer. Do not argue to win. You will lose your objective and turn them away. Always keep your cool and good manners.
Good manners is good dawah
Be moderate and take your time. Patience and good manners is good dawah. Be generous with your wealth as it is from Allah. He will give us more when we spend on the welfare of others.
Be inclusive, let your family meet your friends
One important turning point for me is when I brought my mother to join me and other sisters. The warmth and love they showered on all the mothers made my mother feel love for them too. She felt included and not just watching us as an outsider.
Do not inconvenience your family. Make it easy for them
Bring your friends to your home and pot luck is good. Ask your friends to eat with your family and do not trouble your mother to prepare any special food. Do not give your family stress but let them feel the generosity of fellow Muslims. That will open doors insha'Allah.
Bring them along for gatherings
Invite them to our silatul rahim gatherings. Bring them when we meet for lunch or dinner. include them when we have iftar. We had done that with our parents and even if they did not accept Islam, they become more tolerant.
Initially some will refuse because they are uncomfortable. We assure them that other parents are also joining us (make sure they are). Tell them they can also make friends with the parents who are not Muslims. They can dress in any way they wish. Let them feel at ease and welcome.
Practise some our our traditional customs
Invite our parents for tea drinking, Chinese lunches or Indian lunches etc. Assure them Muslims have not rejected their culture. Bring them to meet our Chinese Muslim friends from China.Tell them their children have not suddenly turned into Malays. Ha Ha its a big joke to us but not to them. Yes, please use some tact, do not chat in Bahasa Malaysia amongst the Chinese converts. It only reinforces the misconception. We are partly to blame.
Be proud of your own culture.
And remember to wear our own tranditional clothes when we are with them or when we visit. Its more effective than wearing baju Melayu, songkok, sampin and all. "My son has become a Malay! Arrrrgh!!!! No offence meant to our Malay brothers and sisters. We just want to make sure people get the facts right.
Hostile parents need different approach
In the case of hostile parents, we need the help of elderly brothers or sisters who can speak their dialect and find the right moment to get them together. They may not want to meet our friends nor do they want to listen to us. In that case we let things quiet down a bit.
Carry on being good and cheerful. Call them often and buy gifts for them. Just keep on showing your love and attention.
Parents still love us even if they are so angry
Parents still love us but can chose to hurt us badly, by rejecting us or scolding us or even hitting us. They are angry and they hurt so much that they do not know what else to do. Forgive them and keep on making duaa for them. May Allah soften their hearts.
Be humble and admit it if you are not sure of the answer
If you do not know the answer, admit it and say you prefer to verify the facts. Its ok not to know everything. Always speak the truth.
If we can just follow one or two of the above that would already be a very good start. Remember do not bore them or act as if we are better than them. Do not hurt the feelings of people unnecessarily.Very often it is our actions that influence their impressions of Islam.
May Allah SWT guide us and help us in our effort to help our friends and family members.
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